I can’t believe this shit bag would dare enter my home town. Who gave you that bullshit key to the city asshole? A fucking bum. You stay out of the place of my birth, and when you come to LA you better be strong, because I’m going to ruin your life.
Attention: Friends! Foes! Brett Gelman! Following the SF Sketchfest premier of my hit show, “Hominid Waste,” I traveled via private jet back home to Illinois! There, I was presented with the key to the city of my hometown, Highland Park, as I am the most famous person ever exported from that town! Now, starting with Joey’s Comedy Club in Livonia, MI, my nationwide tour has officially kicked off and is headed straight to the heart of Los Angeles. I’m ready! To! Turn up the heeeeat!”
It comes out February 8th. Here’s a link you can check out: