Oh shit bro. Nothing like Cali living. Anybody see my dog? Shit bro. I’m always losing his ass. But that’s Cali life brooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gelmania
I hope you have a nice stay.
My name is Brett Gelman.
I am an actor, writer, producer, and MC.
Oh.....and I'm also a genius.
If you don't think so, please leave, and never contact me ever again.
I don't have time to waste with people who have terrible opinions.
Let us raise our glasses to this cholcolate shrine and pray that fudge Jesus will come and take us to cotton candy heaven.
Look here Timmy! Look at your fucking grandpa you little pussy! This is how you eat spaghetti and drink beer like a motherfucking man!
Will you please excuse us? Special Agent Meowpants is about to give me a bbj. For those of you who aren’t cool bbj stands for bath blow job.
Guys please check out my new film at The New Beverly.
I’m very proud of it, and I worked very hard on it.
To be honest it almost killed me.
I won’t spoil it for you, but I will say this:
There’s a suburban pagan in all of us.
Woah, what’s this baby’s name? America?
“Man I can’t wait till I shave this beard off. It makes me look so ugly. I mean seriously this beard makes me look like a monster. I…..wait….hold on…..am I…..pregnant?”
Did you guys know that I’m best friends with Iggy Pop? He calls me Iggy Soda.
Don’t worry sis us beating the shit out of eachother last night is all worth it. Cause today you and I are finding a mommy and daddy.
Being on this lonely old oil rig is hard. Having a horse head is even harder. But at least I have Moby Cat to remind me love exists.
